Teaching Children to be Grateful

Across cultures and time spans, experiences and expressions of gratitude have been treated as both basic and desirable aspects of human personality and social life. But what is the empirical evidence of the positive impact of expressing an 'attitude of gratitude' ? positive psychology.
In the field of postive psychology, gratitude has been shown to contribute not only to an increase in happiness, health, and other desirable life outcomes but also to a decrease in negative affect and problematic functioning, including in patients with neuromuscular disease, college students, hypertensives, patients with cancer, health care providers, and early adolescents (Cheng, Tsui, & Lam, 2015; Emmons & McCullough, 2003; Emmons & Stern, 2013; Froh, Sefick, & Emmons, 2008; Otto, Szczesny, Soriano, Laurenceau, & Siegel, 2016)
So we understand the importance of gratitude across our lifespan for contentment, physical health and perspective but what strategies can we use to sensitively encourage children to learn the skills to appreciate what they have?

Say Thank You
When introducing the concept of gratitude in my classrooms I usually start with a creative little clip such as this one from WellCast.
The students then reflect on a person in their life that they want to thank for everything they do for them and we then write cards to thank these people. This usually ends up with lots of thank you cards going home to parents, sports coaches and some even stay at school for their teachers. Needless to say everyone involved gains a lot from this lesson or series of lessons.

Gratitude Journal
Another idea I've used for harvesting gratitude in students in my classroom is a gratitude diary. Students have lots of fun decorating a personal diary and then everyday students reflect on what they are grateful for. I've seen formal versions of these being created by various stationery suppliers and while they are lovely and would certainly making a great gift for your tween child, an exercise book will also do the trick.

Gratitude Jar
We have a gratitude jar at home and this is my absolute favourite way to practice gratitude as a family. Whenever someone feels like it they write on  a slip of paper what they are grateful for and pop it in the jar. Needless to say this results in someone else following suit, next thing we are pulling out old slips of paper, guessing who wrote them and when. The discussion flows around what we are all grateful for and they usually all tease me for being as grateful for sunshine as often as I am grateful for them.

Practice Saying 'Grace'
Giving thanks at meal times is a custom practiced in many religions but whether you are religious or not giving thanks at meal times can still be a very upliftng family past time. Usually my youngest daughter starts as we dig into out dinner and we all go around the table and say what we were grateful for that day. The girls like to make sure we focus on that day alone which is effective as we all end up reflecting on our day, sharing ups and downs and supporting each other where needed. We keep it organic, if some nights it doesn't come naturally or there are other discussions taking pride of place that is okay too.

Lead By Example
Whether you are applying one of the suggested ideas as a lesson in your classroom or beginning a new ritual focusing on gratitude with your family, the most important thing is that you model an attitude of gratitude.
Children learn from observing their parents and other trusted adults in their lives. The ways that you manage your emotions, apply effective coping strategies when life throws obstacles and celebrate all you are grateful for will teach your children more than anything else.
As your children become skilled at recognising what we should be grateful for, if they are anything like mine, be prepared for them to remind you if you are not showing an attitude of gratitude. It is not a cliche, we can also learn a great deal from our children.

Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@gabriellehenderson